We’ve resisted it for too long. After developing our language ability, we decided to set ourselves on top of the pecking order of things. This easily allowed us to look down on the hairy ones, the gorilla clan that we’d been allied with until that nasty accident which allowed us to use sticks for more than something to scratch our back with. Before long, we’d discovered that with our power came responsibility—we had to make sure that our name wasn’t besmirched. After all, we’d been made in HIS image and our day of creation, as we discovered through long and tedious research, was separate from the day when the beasts were made.
Now the walls are crumbling. Those smarmy academics who can’t wait to elect liberals and submerge us into a culture of fire and brimstone have made claims that chimps should swing from the same branch on our genetic tree:
Now, biologists at Wayne State University School of Medicine in Detroit, Michigan, provide new genetic evidence that lineages of chimps (currently Pan troglodytes) and humans (Homo sapiens) diverged so recently that chimps should be reclassed as Homo troglodytes. The move would make chimps full members of our genus Homo, along with Neandertals, and all other human-like fossil species. "We humans appear as only slightly remodeled chimpanzee-like apes," says the study. (Full article here.)
In related news, chimps don’t like being referred to as troglodytes. And they definitely don’t like this comparison.
